What is this hovering just below my consciousness and just above my subconscious? A feeling of dread and enlightenment at the same time! Does this even make sense to a firm and stable mind? Struggle as I may to unmask… this burden still maintains its mystery. Benevolence or malevolence… Which has the fortitude to hold on long enough and keep me in suspense? Lightness and darkness blur the field of view. As if there is a presence I cannot quite see but rather I can feel its prevalent influence and it draws me in so deep. Closer the examination… of what? It still eludes my every effort even as I make my verbal appeal. “Reveal yourself to me whoever or whatever you are!” Alas, it is to no end. Why am I being tortured? Is this torture or simply the frustration of man in the world?
Trickster! Provocateur! Beelzebub? Tempter of unreason and suspicion as perhaps here lies the spirit of my discourse in sanity. Where is the mettle of my heart and soul to combat the illusions being played upon my very being? Am I such a mouse that I scurry for shelter out of pure apathetic fear? Reincarnate terror grips me like an eagle whose razor talons dig deeper and deeper into my perception as if in a nightmare become real from my childhood settling upon me in a cold sweat. But what of that? What of my perception? Is it but a moment in time lost to me or will this be my undoing?
Oh pray…pray to the Father for release from that which has embraced and soiled my immanence! Hear me I beckon aloud, “Hear me….” Wait! Wait! Wait for that which may come now or in a time yet to be convened. Is this a calamity in which I am to vacillate again and again while my hopes and dreams turn into udder despair? No! I refuse to give up or to give in to this monster growing inside me! For I will take a stand and maintain the solace of my ascendants. For all the powers in the world can turn against me and I will stand!
Somewhere below in the shadows of wispy branches of a weeping willow on a sunlit day an old man struggles in his sleep. Indeed, he is fighting demons.