A friend asked and I wrote…

Patient or Patient

 

Have you ever found yourself questioning why you react or reacted certain ways to situations or persons? Of course you have! We all have. It’s a great part of what makes us who we are and how others see us. On one hand it can be considered as a badge of honor, good character, admirable…  This is the feel-good, sticky sweet side of ourselves we attempt and strive to achieve…Yes? Yes! On the other hand you may find yourself questioning every action, feeling judged, as well as self-judging, not only by the actions of today but all the actions of yesterday. How do we find release and solace from those events that mold us into misshaped clay? How do we remodel ourselves into a new shape before our pliability succumbs to hardening? Lamentations 3:40 tells us “Let us examine and probe our ways, And let us return to the LORD.”  Well, that seems simple enough and straight forward. Oh my friend… It’s easier said than done! This brings me to the point and title of this expose`. Are we being patient and letting the Lord guide our ways, or are we a patient in need of healing and spiritual guidance? It’s a study in self…

The waters that have traversed beneath the bridge of my life have seen beauty, love and kindness, and the miracle of being a parent and grandparent all with God at the center. The exalted times of being a healer and trusting that God is in charge makes for smooth sailing… most of the time. Let’s not forget we are often tested during these times too ¹(James 1:12). Then there are those times, more than I care to recall, where the waters were turbulent and seemingly drowning in their passing. Those times where I let go of God and made the meager attempt to be in control. Though I made it through, by His grace, I still flinch at the thought of some of those actions. I was neither patient nor a patient. I was simply lost in the world and part of the world. I was living in the world as a man, and not living in the world as a man with God in his heart. Material things made me into someone I cringe to reflect upon even now ²(Mark 4:19). But there is light…

The time came when I simply gave up and gave in. Upon my knees with reverence to Him in whom I was to ask forgiveness and pour out my deepest, heartfelt apology and beg for Him to take over I found solace. I found that is okay to be scarred and scared. I discovered a healthy way to be self-judging without being judgmental. I found that giving my whole self to God, not just a small piece but all of me, I could move beyond the sucking abyss that had trapped me in the past and lead me into deeper waters. Here, now, I can stand and be proud of who I am and who is responsible. It isn’t me… It never was… It is in Jesus Christ my Lord and savior who endowed me with strength to ask for forgiveness and provide forgiveness when I slip into the snare of reaction without His guidance. I can be patient, and I can be a patient. “It is well with my soul!”

¹James 1:12 – Blessed is a man who perseveres under trial; for once he has been approved, he will receive the crown of life which the Lord has promised to those who love Him.

² Mark 4:19 – …but the worries of the world and the delight of being rich and all the other passions come in to choke the word; so it proves unfruitful.

Be warned…

THE MOOR

Stuck in this dance I cannot win

The Moor keeps pulling me down

Deeper and deeper I’m being sucked in

As my feet can no longer touch ground

 

Breathlessly and in vane I strive

As flying demons circle above

Never oh never this way should one die

Had I only more time to love

 

Urgency screaming inside my head

An answer to cries never comes

Steadily sinking, sinking, sinking

My heartbeat becomes a drum

 

Rhythm unfolded, unsheathed, unclad

Naked my fear weaves before me

A panic of tears of sorrow is sown

Now broken the beast drawing near me

 

Subsiding the beating no longer the ringing

So sweet the euphorian wings

Swoop down upon me enveloped my rapture

The Moor has decided this thing

Hope in death…

THE SEED

 

A drop of rain is nourishment to a lowly seed

It provides more than it could ever know

As a drop of love is to a little babe

Forever it sustains that precious soul

 

And as that soul grows it learns more and more

Its heart reflects the teachings of

The caring, touching healing hands

Provided by a mother’s love

 

A love that lasts forever and ever

No matter where the body may be

Like the rain drop it may be gone

But just look at what came from that seed

 

Searching for answers in times of trial

Can strengthen us and help us grow

We need only lift our hearts in prayer

For if you believe then you will know

 

God wrote a plan for us just like the seed

When He provided that drop of rain

He is in control, He knows our need

So rejoice in Him for there’s no more pain

The greatest of these is love…

BUTTERFLIES

 

As the sunset sky reflects its wonder

With colors ablaze in light

Two butterflies drift upon the wind

An aerial ballet of flight

 

The drifting clouds have eyes that see

These beautiful creatures dance

Floating high above their hearts are free

Their meeting simply chance

 

But oh how they seem to know the other

Though never before have they met

There is something unsaid in their eyes to the other                         

So easily this passion let

 

Their embrace so close on the wind they sail

Yet there is sadness in their hearts

As the same gentle wind becomes a gale

And tears the two lovers apart

 

Adrift again on their journey aloft

Hearts heavy with sorrows weight

Then a smile swells up within their hearts

God had blessed them with a simple fate

A dream of hope…

HOW I DIED AND FOUND SOLACE

(A true story)

It’s a very winding, treacherous dirt and gravel mountain road strewn with large boulders all along its edges. The sides drop steeply as the tall pines stretch towards the heavens. I see their tops blown and bristled against the distance in some places as we descend with ever increasing speed. It’s beginning to scare me along with everyone else in the car. I’m sitting in the front passenger seat while three others are crowded together in the back. We’re driving entirely too fast, and for whatever reason, our driver believes she can maintain control. Why she doesn’t slow down no one present in the car knows. With a cry of fear and terror, I beg her to slow down before we reach the next curve and large boulders that are our only means to prevent us from flying off the edge and into the abyss. She loses control and we careen into, onto and over the boulders. We all scream with terror and fear in anticipation of the long journey down and our inevitable death.

The screaming ceases, if only for a brief moment, as we realize we haven’t crashed down the 400-500 feet to the ground near the speck of a stream flowing there. I note that we have somehow, miraculously landed atop a towering pine. Turning to the group I tell them to hold on as we are about to lose our perch. Down, down, down… The screaming rings in my ears as we whirl in a plunging spiral towards the earth and death. It’s over! The car is crushed nearly flat as it landed top down with full impact.

I’m aware of people milling around the car and paramedics tending to my friends. I’m being pulled from the car even as I watch from a short distance. My body is bloody and crushed. I mutter aloud that I don’t understand how we weren’t all killed. We couldn’t have possibly survived that kind of impact. It dawned on me that I had been praying all the way down for God to save us or take us home. I prayed that my children and family would not suffer too much with the burden of losing their father, husband, brother in such a manner. I then realize that I am watching this scene play out in front of me and I am not a survivor. I died…

As I turn to look at the person standing next to me he nods his head in affirmation of my epiphany. A sense of relief rushes over me as goosebumps stand up and fall back again all over my body. I’m dead, but I’m alive and unafraid. I know I am safe and in the presence of Jesus. This short time for me on earth is complete and I will now go home and see my dad and grandparents again. There is solace in this feeling that I cannot explain in this short work. I only know that the Holy Spirit descended upon me in a dream that changed my life forever. My soul is claimed, safe and I’m okay.

Kevin D Parish

What Words May Come?

Writing simple poetry, song lyrics and short stories has become so important to me over the past few years.  When I began my words were therapy for me though at the time I didn’t realize it.  I certainly never considered how impactful these words would become in my life and, from time to time, in other’s lives too.  What thrills me most is the feedback and how many different opinions and interpretations I get from one poem read through the eyes of others.  When I write the words simply flow without me getting too caught up in whatever theme may arise.  It simply starts with a line or sentence then blossoms from there.  I’ve been told it’s a gift, and while somewhere deep within me I believe that to be true, I wonder why it took so long to develop even as it continues to grow.  My grandfather was a writer, so perhaps that is where the answer lies.  Regardless, I hope you find some meaning, some smiles, some tears or something else worthy of your time here within these scripts.

God bless,

Kev

All works herein are owned and copyrighted

by Kevin D. Parish

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