GRANDMA AND GRANDPA… a funny poem

Whenever grandma did the laundry

Grandpa would go to town and steal

Sometimes he just stole candy

But, one time he stole a wheel

Woman Standing Near Yellow-petaled Flower

And grandma never knew it

Grandpa was a sneaky cuss

Until the Sheriff came a callin’

Haulin’ grandpa off in cuffs

Handcuffs, Shackles, Guilty, Sentence

Now, grandma was a sly one

In her own respectful way

She loved old grandpa feircly

And she couldn’t let him stay

Locked up in a jail cell

Full of criminals and such

So, she packed up the Sawsall

And went to town in their old bus

White Orange Van Scale Model

Sneaking ’round the jailhouse

She peaked into the room

Where grandpa paced the jail cell

Red-faced a rose in bloom

She gave him a “come-hither”

And at the window did he squint

She cut those bars right out of there

And out the hole he went

Jail, Fake, Art, House Wall, Door

That was twenty years ago

We’ve never seen them since

A bank was hit that very night

And, still today it makes some wince

To think our two grandparents

Would end up on the lamb

As that apple didn’t fall too far

You’ll never guess just where I am

Landscape Photography of Trees on Shoreline

SATISFY ME… A November Writing Challenge… Creatures

“Oh yes, I can sense them out there.  Now, I need to probe further, signal and wait.”

Dun-dun-dun-dun…

Ping-ping-ping…

Dun-dun…

Fweeeeet-dun-dun…

Tot-tot-tot-tottatottatot…

-BONK-

“There it is!  That’s the response I’ve been looking for.”

As the prey neared life was about to get a whole lot sweeter.

Wings were lifted and expanded.  Flight was easy.  The perfect spot on the prey was identified and this was going to be easy.

“Time for penetration and relief…”

“Mmmmm…”

Bad Cowboy?… micro-fiction

Woman, Man, Cowboy, Love, View, Romance
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“I’m beholden to ya, Sheriff.” She said as the sheriff waxed poetic upon the drunken cowboy’s head.

“Ah, aint nothin’, maam!  Just doin’ ma job.”

“Well, sir, if ‘ins ya hadn’t dropped in when ya did, this feller may have ended up in a lot worse shape!  I’m much obliged.  Yes sir, my obliged indeed!”

“The pleasure is all mine, Miss Mae!”

“So, if you’d like to come back ’round a little later this evenin’ I can show how truly appreciative I am…”

Miss Mae turned and walked back into the brothel with her head held high.

The cowboy smiled!  “That worked out jus ya planned it, huh, boss?”

The End

THE ANNOUNCEMENT… a short story

The constant thump, thump, thumping was making him crazy.  “What in the world is that incessant noise?” he thought.  The sky was clear except for heat lightning playing tag in the distance over the gulf waters.  “Well, it’s not thunder!  I’m never going to get any rest at this rate.  Ugh!”

Lightning, Purple, Sky
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Slowly, the thumping slowed.  He was drifting off in fond memories of fishing with his dad, then his kids, and then his grandkids.  “Life has been such a blessing,” he thought to himself.  A smile played across his face. “I’m so tired!”

There, in the room, by his bedside, his children and a few of the grandchildren watched this transformation happening on the sweet old man’s face.  “What’s he thinking about, dad?” one of the grandkids asked.  “Well, if I know my daddy, he’s thinking about fishing.” Came the reply.  “Gosh, I haven’t seen him smile in a long time!” replied another.

There was a deep breath from the bed, a long, slow exhalation, then nothing more.  A nurse, who’d been sitting on one side of the bed, placed her stethoscope on the man’s chest, over his heart.  After a few moments, she looked up with tears of compassion in her eyes and made the announcement.  All those present let out a cumulative breath that they didn’t realize they’d been holding.

silhouette of man holding fishing rod
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After a few minutes of sniffling and quite sobs the eldest son bowed his head and thanked God for this beautiful, wonderful man that he called dad.  Then, the youngest grandchild whispered these words, “I hope you catch a lot today, grandpa.  I already miss you!  Good luck!”

View Master

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The view master found its protagonist.  He was draped in a myriad of colors, and was chasing around and around.  Just a sliding shuffle and click away from another heroic scene.  What adventure awaits?  Who would become the antagonist to this adventurous soul?  Ah, but isn’t that what the wheel of fate has in store for each of us.  We spin and shuffle through life hoping to load the next adventure and scene that will be better than the last.

Stop!  Get out of the loop and live.  We only have so many spins in this life, and it seems the more that pass the faster we go through the next set.  Just a thought…

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